Choosing Colored Stones for Engagement Rings: A Practical Guide

When you're choosing a colored gemstone for an engagement ring, durability needs to be your top priority. Rings take a lot of wear and tear since we do a lot with our hands, and a ring you plan on wearing every day for decades needs to hold up. Sapphires, rubies, and other colored stones can make beautiful engagement rings, but not all gemstones are cut out for long-term daily wear.

For technical details on Mohs hardness and gemstone durability, see our post: Which Colored Gemstones Are Durable Enough for Engagement Rings?

Recommended Stones for Engagement Rings

When we talk about durability, we are talking about the stone's hardness as well as other properties such as brittleness. For a ring, as a general rule, you don't want anything lower than 7 on the Mohs scale of hardness. However, the only stones we recommend for long-term everyday wear in a ring are diamond, moissanite, sapphire, ruby, alexandrite, spinel, topaz, and garnet.

While some other stones have a Mohs hardness of 7 or above, their unique properties make them unsuitable for an engagement ring. For example, emeralds, morganite, and other beryls are 7.5-8 on the Mohs hardness scale, but are very brittle, so they are not a good fit for an engagement ring.

Less Ideal Stones for Engagement Rings

Citrine, rose quartz, amethyst, smoky quartz, and peridot: These are not ideal for engagement or wedding rings. They are a 7 on the Mohs hardness scale, and abrasion & chipping from wear are common. Another consideration is that these are inexpensive stones, so they are usually cut in larger sizes, with a priority on mass-market jewelry. As a result, they are often not available in the precise sizes and cuts that we look for in stones for fine jewelry. Sourcing is more limited, and they are typically not available in melee sizes from our suppliers.

Stones We Strongly Discourage

We strongly discourage pearls, opals, emeralds, and morganite for engagement rings. They may be popular and look beautiful on Pinterest, but they will not hold up in an everyday ring. So if long-term wear is a consideration, avoid those stones. They are better suited for earrings and necklaces.

An additional issue with emeralds is their inclusions, which make them much more fragile than other beryls. Lab-grown emeralds don't have those inclusions, so they are a bit more durable than their natural counterpart. For lab-grown emerald and morganite, a raised bezel setting may work, but with the understanding that they would not withstand long-term everyday wear.

Alternatives to Less Durable Stones

Sapphires are an excellent substitute for almost any color stone. They come in an enormous range of colors, from pale peach to vibrant blue, and everything in between. They range in price from about $50 per carat to $50,000 or more per carat. And being a 9 on the Mohs hardness scale, they are durable enough for everyday wear. But they aren't the only alternative to more fragile stones. Here are some of our recommendations:

• Citrine - topaz, champagne diamond, champagne moissanite, yellow sapphire
• Rose quartz, Morganite, and Sunstone - padparadscha sapphire, champagne diamond, or champagne sapphire
• Amethyst - purple sapphire or alexandrite (color changes between purple and teal)
• Smokey quartz - champagne diamond, champagne moissanite, or brown or orange sapphire
• Peridot & emerald - green sapphire, paraiba spinel or green moissanite. If you truly want an emerald, we recommend it in earrings or pendants, or consider a flush setting on the inside of your ring.
• Aquamarine - aqua blue spinel, Malawi or Montana sapphire
• Tanzanite - purple sapphire, purple/gray spinel

Setting Type Matters

The type of setting also matters when considering any stone other than diamond or moissanite. The softer or more fragile the stone, the better it is in a raised setting, preferably a bezel, as this protects the girdle of the stone, which is the most fragile exposed part in a prong setting.

Flush Set Stones

Flush-set stones (stones inset into the band) wear more quickly than stones in a raised setting. Typically, a band ring will spin on your finger, so a flush-set stone may not always sit on top of your finger. This is especially true if your finger shape is one where the knuckle is larger than the base of your finger.

The bottom of a ring experiences more wear and tear than the top. If you have a flush-set stone and your ring rotates on your finger, the setting may end up facing the inside of your hand. If you accidentally hit it against something, you could risk breaking the stone or causing it to wear down over time. That's why stones for flush setting need to be really durable – ideally a diamond. However, if you prefer a colored stone, we would limit it to a sapphire, ruby, alexandrite, or spinel. Other stones can be flush-set inside the band, where they are protected from damage.

Melee Stones (Under 4mm)

Melee stones (under around 4mm) are much more limited. They are loosely graded into general color categories, such as denim blue, light teal, and blue/green, so precise color matching (like matching an eye color) is often not possible in this size. We also charge an additional fee to source colored melee that we don't have in stock. Also, with colored stones, melee tends to be a bit paler because there isn't as much stone to give it that saturation that you get with larger stones.

Cut Differences: Colored Stones vs Diamonds

Colored gemstones tend to be cut taller than diamonds. Diamonds are cut to precise proportions to maximize fire and brilliance. Whereas colored gemstones are cut taller to optimize color saturation and to avoid windows or dark areas. And remember, the larger the stone, the taller it is.

Colored stones also come in a wider range of unique cuts than diamonds. For example, the Portuguese cut features multiple tiers of intricate faceting (often 145-161 facets) that create excellent brilliance and light display. We love Portuguese cut sapphires for center stones, though they are more difficult to source.

Gemstone Treatments

Often, colored gemstones undergo treatments such as heat treatment, irradiation, fracture filling, dyeing, or bleaching. Heat-treating is the most common method used to lighten, darken, deepen, or change the color of a gemstone, as well as to dissolve some inclusions and increase clarity. It is so common that it is considered standard practice in many stone types. It should be assumed that, unless a stone is specifically indicated as "unheated," it has undergone some form of heat treatment.

Sourcing

We only work with a select group of carefully vetted suppliers for our materials. The natural stones we offer are either mined in the US, such as our Montana sapphires and Idaho garnets, or mined in Australia. Additionally, we work with a supplier who offers Fair Trade Gems that are closely traced from mine to market. Because we are so selective in our material sourcing, it also means that we can't offer as many options as the fine jewelry industry at large; however, we believe it's worth it.

Main Takeaway

If long-term wear is an important consideration, choose your stone carefully and select a setting that provides appropriate protection. When in doubt, opt for diamonds, moissanite, sapphires, rubies, alexandrites, spinels, topazes, or garnets as stones in engagement rings, and diamond, ruby, or sapphire for flush-set stones.

See our selection of in-stock colored stones here and check out our gallery of previous work we've created with colored stones to find inspiration for your dream ring.

Still have questions?

We are here to help guide you through choosing the right stone for your ring. Send us a message or schedule a video consultation.