Engagement Ring Settings: How They Affect Your Wedding Band Options

When you're shopping for an engagement ring, you're probably focused on the stone, the style, and whether it feels like "the one." But I would encourage you during your engagement ring buying process to also consider how your engagement ring will pair with a wedding band.

This guide is here to help you understand different setting styles and how to think about them in relation to your complete ring set, so you can make informed choices from the start.

Wait Before Buying Your Wedding Band

Here's something that might surprise you: we generally don't recommend buying your wedding band at the same time as your engagement ring. Especially if you have six months or more before the wedding, if this is your first ring, or it's a surprise.

Why? For a lot of people, the engagement ring is the first piece of fine jewelry they've owned and maybe the first ring they've ever worn. It's hard to know what you'll want in a wedding band before you've actually lived with your engagement ring for a while.

You might think you know exactly what you want right now. But after a few months of wearing your engagement ring every day, things may change.

The "I want all the bling" switch: You might start out thinking, "I want as much bling on my finger as I can. Enough to blind my friends at the bar. So I'm going to get a big stone then add a pavé wedding band." But three months later, you realize that it doesn't work as well with your lifestyle. You still love your sparkly ring for parties, but what you actually want for daily wear is a simple band without stones.

The "I want it simple" switch: Or the reverse happens. You've never worn a ring, so you don't want anything too flashy. You get a simple bezel-set solitaire. But as you wear it, you find yourself enchanted by the way light dances on surfaces reflected from your ring – like a wee prism you take with you everywhere. You realize it's giving you sparkles in your brain as well! Suddenly, you want more, and now a pavé band for maximum sparkle effect sounds perfect.

How People Actually Wear Their Rings After the Wedding

Before you stress about matching sets and perfect pairings, understand that people approach this differently. In our experience, there are three main ways people wear their engagement and wedding rings:

Always together: Some people want to wear both rings together every day. For these folks, we recommend having the rings soldered together. This keeps them aligned, prevents them from rubbing against each other and wearing away, and makes them more durable since the combined width is less prone to bending. (Soldering is reversible, though welding is less so.)

Special occasions only: Some people choose not to wear their engagement ring after the wedding, or only wear it on special occasions.

Right-hand switch: Some people move their engagement ring to the right hand after the wedding. (The ring will typically need to be sized up 1/2 size, as most people's right hand is on average 1/2 size larger than the left.)

The old idea of a "bridal set" where the rings match perfectly and nest together, and are always worn as a set? If that's what you want, go for it. However, there's nothing wrong with mixing metals, styles, and textures for a more eclectic look. They're your rings, so you do you!

But What Should You Think About Now?

Okay, so you shouldn't buy your wedding band yet. But the setting style of your engagement ring will affect your options later. The way a setting connects to the shank (the band part of an engagement ring) comes in three main styles, and understanding these will help you choose the right ring for you.

Setting Sits on Top of Shank

The setting sits on top of the band and doesn't intersect with it. This is typically what we recommend for surprise engagement rings because it doesn't limit wedding band options later.

What you can do with it:

• Pair with almost any wedding band style
• Put a straight band with it, and it will sit flush against the shank (though the setting will hide part of the wedding band)
• Pair with a contour band that frames the stone so you see all of the wedding band (you'll want to solder them together since the setting won't keep the contour band aligned)

The trade-offs:

• Taller profile: with this, you have the height of the shank plus the height of the setting. With very large stones, the ring can get quite tall.
• More delicate: the setting sticks out and is more likely to snag on something and bend or crack where it meets the shank.
• Less integrated look: the setting and shank don't flow into each other as seamlessly

Setting Intersects Shank

The setting is dropped down, and the shank connects to it on the side. Often, a more integrated, cohesive design.

What you can do with it:

• Lower profile – just the height of the setting against your finger
• Better for active lifestyles, people who wear gloves often, and large center stones over 1.0ct
• More integrated look overall

The trade-offs:

• The ring will be wider at the base of the setting than the shank. For example, with a 2mm wide shank and a 5x7mm oval stone, the ring will be at least 7mm wide at the setting, creating about a 2.5mm gap between the shank and a straight wedding band.
• With a 5mm round stone, there would only be about a 1.5mm gap (not bad)
• Some people like a bit of space between rings (I do, as they appear as two separate, unique rings). Others hate it.
• Sometimes the gap is too big, and a straight wedding band can look like a teeter-totter (especially with elongated stones)
• If you don't want the gap, consider getting a contour wedding band, switching the engagement ring to your right hand after the wedding, or wearing them at different times.

Cathedral Setting

A mash-up of the two above styles: the setting sits on top of the shank, but the shank also splits and comes up to meet the setting at the side.

What you can do with it:

• Put a straight band flush against the shank
• More integrated and less delicate than setting on top
• From the top, it looks like an intersected style

The trade-offs:

• Still a taller profile since the setting is on top of the shank

So, What Should You Actually Decide Now?

If you think you'll want to always wear your engagement ring and wedding band together after the wedding, ask yourself one question: How do you feel about contour bands?

If you don't like contour bands, consider an engagement ring style that pairs nicely with a straight band, such as a setting-on-top or an intersected design with a smaller center stone.

And that's it. That's as far as you should go in planning your wedding band when you're engagement ring shopping, especially if this is your first time wearing a ring and you aren't getting married for at least six months.

It's Okay Not to Know What You'll Want Forever

All this might make you panic: "How am I going to know what ring I want to wear for the rest of my life!?"

Keep in mind the ring is not the marriage. It's meant to be a symbol and a reminder of your special person. Your relationship will grow and evolve over the years, just like you and your fashion tastes will.

That's why a lot of people choose to get new rings to mark a milestone anniversary. Maybe you get a second set that's very different from your first, so that you can switch it up depending on your mood. Or maybe you have the stone reset from your original ring into a new setting.

Still Have Questions?

Not sure how one of our styles will pair with a straight or contour wedding band? Send us a message, and we can email you photos, or better yet, schedule a video consultation to view the rings from all angles.